BILLINGTON LANGHO AND DISTRICT W.I.

The President of Billington Langho and District WI, Barbara Charlson, welcomed members and guests to the April Meeting. After conducting the business part of the evening she introduced our speaker, Joanne Halliwell, who, as ‘Jemima Crabby-Apple’, gave us a highly informative and amusing talk, with many very graphic details, about the superstitions of the days of yore. Joanne was thanked for her ‘entertainment’ by Barbara Charlson. The competition for an ‘Old School Photograph’ was won by Jean Price; Christine Seedall was 2nd and 3rd Eileen Bagot.  The raffle, for handmade patchwork bedspreads, was won by Pamela Campbell, Margaret Fulwell and Ann Wetton. Birthday flowers were presented to Anne Paley. The meeting was brought to a close with the singing of the National Anthem. The next meeting will be held on Tuesday 13th May 2014 at 7.45pm in St Mary’s Parish Hall, York Lane, Langho, when we shall be having a ‘Mock Auction’ and all members and visitors will be made most welcome.

Anne Williams

Lighthearted Stories

The Blonde and the Lord

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing.
She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.
After positioning her comfy camping stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a cup of cappuccino from her thermos, and began to cut yet another hole.
Again from the heavens the voice bellowed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice.
She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.
The voice came once more,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She stopped, looked skyward! and said,
"IS THAT YOU LORD?"
The voice replied,
"NO, THIS IS THE SKATING RINK MANAGER!"

God has a Sense of Humour

A woman received a call that her daughter was sick. 

She stopped by the pharmacy to get medication,
got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside. 

The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground.
She looked at it and said "I don't know how to use this."
She bowed her head and asked God to send her HELP

Within 5 minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up

A bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag
The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.
She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I’ve locked my keys in my car.
I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
He said, "Sure."
He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car door was opened.

She hugged the man and through tears said,
"Thank You SO Much! You are a very nice man."

The man replied,
"Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of PRISON yesterday,
I was in prison for car theft." 
The woman hugged the man again sobbing,
"Oh, thank you God!
You even sent me a Professional!" 

Is GOD Good or What!?

Kittens for Sale

KITTENS FOR SALE

Tracy Baron is trying to a home for several kittens. All she is asking is £20 which is to cover vets fee’s etc. If anyone is interested please contact Tracy direct.

Many Thanks